Parenting stories

Rejection can be good

A disclaimer before I start a "parenting stories" category for my blog, my kids are grown and I still don't know how to be a parent. The only thing I know I did right was pray for them. Luckily kids are resilient, like a seed in the ground, they come up. We can say we fed and cared for them, but the human potential is just gonna burst forth anyway. It's God's gift and we are privileged to watch it.

We all want to belong to a group, but is it the best thing? When one of my kids was in 3rd grade she struggled with friend groups. Some days she would be allowed in the group, some days she was kicked out. She would come home from school and I would ask her if she was in or out. I always new when she was out because the pockets of her little jeans would be full of wood chips. Wood chips were used at the time to cover the surface of the playground. When she was friendless, she would walk around the playground looking for the prettiest wood chips and stuff them in her pockets. When she got home we would sit on the couch and she would show me her collection and tell me why she liked each one of them. I don't remember what I said to her, just that we sat together and admired them. The wood chips were pretty and each of them was different and I was amazed she even noticed. I still have a few.


Now when I think about my daughter and that time I see a little girl who had resilience and self-respect. She learned to have fun by herself. She learned to think for herself. She learned that self-respect sometimes means you have to walk away and find something better to do.

I think the parenting lesson is to be there when they need you. You can't always fix the problem or change the circumstances, but you can love them while they go through it. I'm still working on these skills!

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